The Reason
by winchesterxgirl
Summary: S5 "The End" AU. When the outbreak happened, Dice lost everything. Then he came into her life and he became the reason that she continued on living.
1. Chapter 1

Fear Not Faithful Readers.

Everything Else Will Be Updated In Due Time.

This Has Been Floating Around In My Computer For Some Time.

If It Gets Love, There Will Be More.

If Not, Oh Well.

Enjoy.

He saved me. If it wasn't for him, I would have died some years ago. It was only by chance that he had found me. I had been surviving in the same house I had lived in since I was nine when I heard his crew come through. They had heard of survivors in the area and thought they would check it out; I hadn't broad cast a thing.

Something I learned very quickly; do not broad cast your location, that's how you get found by the wrong people and by wrong people, I mean them. They aren't people anymore. The closets thing I could compare them to was zombies, yet they were alive and the only thing they seemed to want was infect to everyone else.

I had been alone now for three years. My family was some of the first to disappear and never return. I stayed with friends at a cabin in the woods; we had always joked that my best friend's uncle was ready for the zombie apocalypse, with the amount of guns, ammo and food he had stored there. It didn't take long for the infected to find us. We loaded everything we could into our own vehicles and took off in different directions, agreeing to meet up in a week at our special place.

A week later I was alone. I had enough supplies to last me a long time, so I went to the only place I could think of; home. My father had been into home repairs, so our basement was filled with reject wood, metal, basically everything I needed to make my house as safe as possible. I only left when I needed too. On one of my journeys out, I found a lost puppy and I couldn't help but take it home with me; Beast was the only reason I made it through most of the days alone. He made things bearable.

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Then one morning, I heard the trucks drive by. I went on my roof and watched them as they wondered through the neighborhood, looking for survivors and more importantly, supplies. That's when I saw him; he was clearly their leader, barking commands at them, watching everyone carefully. He was the first to spot me on my roof. He stared at me for the longest time before alerting to his crew that there was a survivor.  
>They backed their vehicles into the driveway, blocking my truck in. "Who are you?"<p>

"I could ask you the same thing." I said, staring into his beautiful green eyes. I heard something off in the distance, a familiar noise. "They're coming back for a raid."

"How long you been alone?" He asked carefully as I calculated in my head.

"Three years, six months, two weeks and five days." Keeping track of the days helps me stay grounded.

He chuckled slightly, nodding. "You have supplies?"

Are you going to kill me for them?"

He shook his head. "That's not what we're about."

"Then what are you about?"

"Savin people, as many as we can." I nodded at him and took a deep breath.

I pulled on a leaver, then looked to his men. "You only."

He looked back to him men, nodding. "Keep a sharp eye." He said as he walked through the opened door. Before he could turn back and look at his men, I closed the door with the same leaver and made my way back into the house.

When I got to the living room, he was standing there, looking around amazed. "How are you still alive?"

"I'm quiet. I'm quick and," Beast came running down the stairs, growling at the man. "And I have him," I looked at Beast. "Beast, heel." He instantly laid down in the submission position.  
>We stared each other down before he extended his hand. "I'm Dean."<p>

"Dice." He raised his brows at me, but I wasn't going to commit on it; he didn't need to know my life story and I didn't need to know his.

"So, where are these supplies?"

"I have a couple of questions first." He looked at me, waiting. "How many are in your camp?"

"About a hundred fifty to two hundred. Changes a lot."

I nodded. "Babies and kids?"

"Yeah we got some rugrats runnin around." I nodded again and left the room.

When I came back, he was looking at one of the family pictures on the wall. "Okay, we have about three hours before the sun goes down tonight and the raid parties make it over here. Everything can be packed up in two."

He raised a brow. "How much stuff do you have?" I turned and this time he followed me to the kitchen. He stopped and stared for a good two minutes. "Where did you get all of this?" he asked as he started to inspect all of the boxes I had crammed into the small room.

"Believe it or not, Walmart, Costco and the Fred Meyers down the street."

He turned and looked at me. "By yourself."

"I took more then one trip." I said as I nodded to the stairs, taking him to my brother's old room. "This is all of the medical supplies I could get."

I had been stock piling everything I could find for the last three years; I had a lot of time on my hands. "In my parents old room is stuff for kids, warm clothes, bedding."

"What else you got?" he asked with a smile; I had a feeling it was a rare one; they must have really needed supplies.

"Electronic equipment, computers, radios, DVDs, CDs, pretty much if it was there, I took it."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "Never knew what I was going to need." I took a deep breath before turning to him. "Its all yours, under one condition."

"What?"

"You take me with you."

"We were never going to leave you in the first place."

I couldn't help but smile at him. "Okay, get your men to start loading their trucks." Dean nodded and left the bedroom.

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I could hear him outside, directing his men and while he was doing that, I went to my room and started packing up all of the personal things I was not leaving this house without; over the years, I had lamented over my dead family's things, sometimes not wanting to look at it or wanting to part from it.

Now i could fit everything into one duffel bag. It was all I needed of them to remember them by. I looked around at the weapons in my room; those were riding with me. It was the only way I would feel safe leaving the house.

The sound of work boots and mumbles was music to my ears after being alone for so long. I heard Dean call out my name, and I called back. When he walked into my room, he looked more shocked then he had when he saw the food. "Now I really have to know your secret. We have been everywhere, and never have we found someone stock piling this much."

"I told you, I'm careful. And I knew my way around the military base in the town over." He looked at me, calculating. I knew he didn't trust me, hell I wouldn't have trusted him if it wasn't the look in his eyes; I could tell it was something he tried to hide, but I could see it.

I went on packing my room, and when Dean went to leave with two bags of guns, I told him to load them in the back of my truck. He stared at me before nodding; I wasn't leaving without my truck. She was mine and there was no way I was leaving her to rot in the driveway, not after all of the time I had put into her being safe.

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Two hours later, I looked back at my house, knowing I was never going to see it again. I hadn't asked where this safe haven camp was, but I had a feeling it was no where near my home. As I climbed into my truck, Dean opened the passenger door, flashing a smile at me. "Cant have you getting lost when you have all of the weapons, now can I?" I said nothing, only smiled at him and turned my ipod on, letting music fill the cab. I looked at him, and for a moment he looked at peace, hearing the good old rock n roll playing through the speakers. "Good choice. Follow the red truck." I nodded and did as I told.

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	2. Chapter 2

Sorry It Took Me Soooooo Long And That The Chapter Is Short.

I Promise The Short Part Is For A Reason. Haha.

Anyways. The Story Is Broken Up In Such A Way That This Is Where It HAD To End.

For Now.

As For The Late, I Was Enjoying Being Lazy For The First Time In Almost A Year.

*Sigh*

Yes, It Was Beautiful.

Moving On.

Please Review.

I'm not sure what moment it was that I fell in love with him. Whether it was the ten hour drive to the camp, or when he offered me this cabin till the morning when he could find one for me.

I just know that I have been in love with Dean Winchester for two years, nine months, 23 weeks and 12 days. In those two years, I have watched him go through more then any other person in the entire camp, and perhaps my life. I have watched the girls go in and out of his cabin, and sometimes, I have seen the girls go in with loaded guns; he tends to piss them off a lot.

Dean was, in many ways, the only person I cared about in the camp. He was the only one I spoke with on a regular basis. Normally when I would hide from Cas and his persistent quest to get me to come to one of his orgies, I hid in Dean's cabin. Although they had been friends for many years now, Dean never let him in when I was there.

I didn't hate Cas; I just hated being hounded all the time for sex.

Most of the women in the camp, didn't like me. They didn't like that I am the only woman that Dean keeps around for more then a few nights at a time. The only people interacted with everyday was the children. Some of them there orphans and needed someone to look after them; I didn't mind.

I liked kids. There was one I was particularly attached too. His name was Samuel and he was three years old. His mother had come to the camp a year before me, pregnant and scared. She died in child birth, and everyone was surprised that Sammy as I called him had survived.

Dean for some reason didn't like Sammy. I couldn't understand why. When I tried to ask him what he had against the small child, he left the cabin, slamming the door behind him; I didn't see him for two days after that.

One day when I was playing with Sammy outside, Cas walked by; he wasn't in his usual drug induced happy cloud, he was in fact very sober. He stopped and looked at Sammy, his eyes clouding over.

Cas bent down and looked at him, smiling. "He looks just like him."

"Like who?" I asked as Cas smiled sadly.

"No wonder Dean cant look at him."

"Like who Cas?"

"His little brother, Samuel Winchester."

I felt my stomach drop. I understood now. That sadness in Dean's eyes, the way he looked at Sammy, everything made sense now. "Just don't tell him I told you." I nodded as Cas walked back to his cabin. That was the first and last time we had a conversation that didn't involve sex.

With Sammy on my hip, I walked into Chuck's cabin; I wanted one of the children's books I had brought with me those years ago. "Hey Chuck."

"Dice, Sammy." He said, looking at the small child with the same sadness.

"I have something to ask you."

"Is it going to get me in trouble?"

"Only if you tell him." He knew who I was talking about. He swallowed hard. "I heard rumors. That you were a prophet."

"That was a long time ago."

"And that you had visions of Dean and his brother."

Chuck shook his head. "Don't ask me about that, please. Its not some happy story."

"I don't expect it to be."

"Then why?" I looked down, then at Sammy, gently brushing the hair out of his face; he was going to need a hair cut soon.

Chuck shook his head at me. "Its not going to help."

"I've run out of other things to read."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you." I said as I looked passed him to the shelf. "Can I get the fairy tale book. Sammy loves that one." Chuck nodded and grabbed the book for me. "Thanks Chuck."

"You're welcome Dice."

Later that night after I had put Sammy to bed, there was a book waiting for me on my bed. There was no note, but I knew it had been Chuck. That night I couldn't sleep, I couldn't put the book down.

Dean had changed so much in these last years. It wasn't fair to him; no one deserved the pain and loss he had gone through.

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After Sammy's second birthday, he wouldn't sleep in the children's cabin anymore. He refused to sleep and would cry all night when I left him there. I didn't have to ask Dean permission to take the little tyke under my full custody; Dean had made it very clear in the beginning that he didn't want to be involved with kids.

I understood that now, knowing the things that Chuck had seen, what Dean had been through.

I saw Dean less after that and it nearly broke my heart. I was so used to having him around, and then it was as if he disappeared from my life, even if he was only seven feet or so away from me.

Thankfully Sammy kept me smiling everyday. Without him and Beast, my life would have resorted back to what it was before Dean saved me.

What's Up Next?

The Good Shit. That's What.

I Promise.

Review And This Ass Will Be Putting Out Faster.

Cross My Heart.

Now I Sound Like A Hooker.

Awesome.


	3. Chapter 3

And Here We Go Again.

I Wish This Was Getting As Much Love As Everyone Else.

Hint. Hint.

As Always, Let Me Know What You Think.

Six months ago, something that broke me happened. I left Sammy with the other caretakers and went out with Dean and some of the others for a search party. As always Beast came with us, he never liked it when I left without him and he was a good watch dog when we were out. In fact, he had saved us many times by warning us that the infected where coming.

While out in an infected zone, we got ambushed. Beast warned us, but there were too many for us to fight them off as we always had. I had my back turned and one of the infected went to charge me, but Beast got to him first; he had nearly ripped the mans hand off before I turned and shot him.

All eyes landed on Beast and the blood dripping from his mouth; he was infected now. One of the guards, Marty I think it was raised his gun to shoot him, but Dean stopped him. "That's enough. Pack up we're leaving." The men obeyed Dean.

All around me I could see the men packing up what little we had found, but I couldn't focus on anything but Beast.

I had him on the ground, rubbing his belly; he always loved that. Dean squatted next to me, gently touching my shoulder. "You know he cant come back with us Dice. He's-"

"I know!" I said angrily, not caring that tears fell from my cheeks. I bent down and kissed Beast on the head, scratching his ears as I whispered goodbye to him. I held my gun in my hand, but I couldn't pull the trigger.

Dean turned to me. "Go wait in the truck. I'll take care of him." I shook my head; I couldn't let Dean kill him.

I kissed Beast's head one last time before I stood and pulled the trigger. Dean pulled me into his arms and held me tight. I could hear the men, talking shit about how it was just a dog. Before I could lash out at them, Dean spoke. "Shut the fuck up and head back to camp. Now." He barked at them and as always they obeyed.

Knowing that I wasn't going to leave without Beast, Dean guided me over to his truck and helped me in. A few minutes later I heard the tailgate go up. I looked in the rear view mirror; Beast was there, covered in a tarp.

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It was a silent trip back to camp. I felt Dean looking at me several times, wondering if I was okay. We were the last ones to get back, but I didn't care; all I wanted to do was bury my dog, crawl into bed with a bottle of vodka and not leave.

We sat in silence for a few moments before Dean took my hand. "I'll come get you after we bury him, okay?" He knew me well; I wasn't going to be able to handle seeing Beast like that

As I waited in my cabin, several people came by to see me, but I ignored them. Lizzy asked if I was going to come for Sammy tonight, but I shook my head; I couldn't let him see me like this.

We the adults were who the kids looked to, to know that everything was alright, and if Sammy saw me crying, he knew something was wrong; I wanted to keep him from this for as long as possible. Lizzy and I worked hard to keep the children just that; children.

After sitting in my cabin for an hour, Dean walked in. He said nothing as he took off his coat and joined me on my bed. I heard something twist; I hadn't noticed till now that he had been carrying a bottle of vodka with him.

Normally, my heart would have been pounding at the idea of having Dean on my bed, with vodka; three of my favorite things in one place, but right now I couldn't even enjoy the thought of it at all.

Dean handed me the bottle and I took a swig; I didn't want to start crying again, but I knew it was going to happen. "He's the first, thing I found and was attached too after I lost everyone. He helped me survive."

"I know."

I handed the bottle to him, running my hands through my hair. "I shouldn't have brought him with me. He was too protective."

"He saved your life."

I nodded. "I know."

I took the bottle back, taking another swig. Dean wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer to him; he smelled nice. "Just let it out. He knew you loved him. Hell, I've never seen someone love their dog the way you loved him." More tears spilled over my lids and I cursed at myself; he hated it when girls cried.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and let him comfort me; I needed it. I felt him brush my fallen tears away and I closed my eyes, knowing if I looked up into his bright green eyes, I was a goner. I didn't want to be another one of his girls. I refused. "Thank you."

"Everything will be okay." Now I looked up at him; I had never heard him mutter those words before; I knew he was a firm believer that there was no longer a fairy tale ending, and all we were doing now was surviving until the real end came. I closed my eyes and held onto him tighter and let myself believe his words.

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In the morning, I was met with two surprises; Dean was still in bed with me and he had his arms still wrapped around me. Maybe instead, the thing that surprised the most was we were both still wearing clothes.

I knew how I got when I was drunk, and being in love with him, I could only imagine how last night could have gone. But alas, nothing happened, and even if part of me was disappointed, I was glad nothing had happened.

Sammy running through the door woke Dean up. He ran over and bounced on the bed. "You didn't come get me." He pouted as I looked at him, pulling him into my arms.

"I'm sorry baby, but I needed some time to think." Sammy glared at Dean; right now he was Sammy's public enemy number one for stealing my attention from him.

I felt Dean sit up next to me and when I looked at him, he rubbed his forehead. "There's aspirin in the cupboard above the sink." Dean nodded but didn't move; he was staring at me and Sammy.

Again, surprising me for the hundredth time, he roughed up Sammy's hair. "Hey kiddo." Up until this point, Sammy had been scared of Dean; whenever he had seen the man, he was yelling and always looked anger, but not right now.

Dean stood from the bed and I did the same, tucking Sammy into the warm covers. "Go back to sleep baby." I kissed his forehead and he closed his eyes. I watched Dean as he looked through the cupboards, completely missing the one with aspirin. I walked over and nudged him with my hip, going up on my toes to reach the bottle.

When I turned to hand it to him, he was facing me, his lips inches from mine; god Dice, mind out of the gutter. This is Dean. Who you are in love with, and want to have mad crazy bunny sex with, stop. He leaned forward and I damned myself as I turned my head, his kiss landing on my cheek.

"Dice." He said softly, I couldn't help but look back at him.

"You don't want this Dean."

"I know I do."

I shook my head. "You want a physical connection, not an emotional one, and I cant be the next girl on the list."

Dean shook his head. "You're not. I know you're not like them."

"Which is why I'm going to turn around and when I turn back, you shouldn't be standing there."

"Is that what you really want?"

I shook my head. "No, but it's the right decision."

"Not if you don't want it." I looked at him; I knew how he charmed girls into bed. It didn't take much, but I knew.

I felt his arms wrap around my waist, holding me against him. "You know me. Look at me, and tell me that I'm lying. I want you."

"I don't doubt that, but its once you have me, how long do you plan on keeping me? How long before you get bored of me?"

Dean shook his head before resting his forehead against mine. "There is no way I could ever get bored of you Dice. You are the reason I haven't lost it yet. Seeing you ever day," My eyes widen in surprised. "I bet you didn't know I watch you, every morning because I couldn't admit that from the moment I found you, I never wanted to let you go again." My resolve broke then and I kissed him.

One of his hands left me waist, and racked through my hair gently as be kissed back, lovingly? I had seen him before; sometimes he was very secretive about who he slept with, but there had been a few times I had seen him with a woman, and watched them kiss; he never kissed them like he kissed me. It was in that moment, I knew he was telling the truth.

I pulled back, cupping his cheek as I looked into his eyes. "You break my heart, and I'll shoot you."

A grin spread across his face. "Fair enough."

And it wont be no kneecap." I watched his expression, smirking when he realized what I meant before he kissed me.

I could feel his hands trail up the back of my shirt, and regrettably I pulled back again. "No." He looked at me confused. "Not with Sammy in the room. It's not right."

He nodded. I knew if this was going to work, there couldn't be any lies between us. "I know, about your brother and I know that he looks just like my Sammy, but we're a package deal. He's mine as far as I am concerned."

Dean nodded, processing everything in his head. "I knew that Chuck gave you his writings, that you knew about it." Now it was my turn to be shocked. "And I understand about him, it'll just take some getting used to."

I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him. "I missed you." I whispered in his ear as he held me tighter, burying his face in my neck.

There You Go.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Hello My Pretties.**

**Sorry That This Is So Short, But I Did Promise Updates On Everything This Weekend.**

**And To Be Honest, The Reason Has The Least In Back Stock.**

**So If I Honestly Gave You The Normal Amount, There Would Be Nothing For Next Time.**

**I Do These Things Because I Love You.**

**And I'm A Huge Freakin Tease.**

**Just Ask The Boys I Went To High School With.**

**;)**

**Review**

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><p>I sat in the cabin with Sammy, waiting for Dean to come back. Ever since my little announcement a month ago, he won't let me go out on raids or search parties with him. I hate not being there and not being able to have his back. I don't like the idea of him being out there, but he is our leader and that's where they need him. I've come to accept this, I just didn't like it.<p>

Sammy was lying in my lap, his head on my stomach; he was trying to hear the baby. I had tried explaining to him that the baby was too small to make any sounds, but he was determined to hear his little brother or sister.

I wanted to know what I was having, but our med cabin lacked an ultrasound machine; back when I had raided the hospital I worked out, it was one of the machines that gave me trouble and I had left it behind. What I wouldn't give for it now.

I heard the gates open and the men shouting about something they had found. Slowly I moved, careful not to wake Sammy as I stood from the bed and walked to the door. I stood there with the door open, waiting; I knew how Dean was when he came back from these things and I didn't want to greet him with a smile when he was in one of his moods.

I heard a gun shoot and closed my eyes; our camp was now down to 147 men, women and children. I wondered who it was when I saw Dean walking up the path to our cabin; there was someone following him.

After first, I thought I was seeing doubles, but when they came closer, I knew what I was seeing was real; there were two Dean's.

My Dean walked up to me and engulfed me in a big bear hug before kissing me. "Missed you." He muttered against my lips as I smiled at him. I felt the other Dean's eyes on us, but I ignored him for the moment; I missed my man. "Is he asleep?"

I nodded, looking over to Sammy's bed. "Like a light."

Dean smiled. "Was he trying to find the baby again?"

Dean had more then warmed up to Sammy; he had accepted him as his own just as I had. I nodded again, then looked over to his clone; it couldn't be ignored any longer. "Is it my birthday?" I asked as Dean rolled his eyes.

"Am I not enough for you?" I made my thinking face and squealed when I was lifted off my feet and twirled my around.

When I was set back on my feet, I looked at him. "So, what happened?"

"Found him wandering around."

"Okay, since he's here I'm guessing he's nothing evil." Dean nodded. "So, you have an identical twin or some time travelin was involved."

Both Dean's stared at me. "I love you." He said as he kissed me, then walked over to the bed where Sammy was sleeping.

I watched the other Dean stare at the little child. "Is he, ours?" he asked, obviously confused by tenses; I would be too if I had just time traveled from, I studied him; he was definitely a younger model, but not by much.

"We adopted him. His mother died in childbirth."

Other Dean nodded. "So, you two are-"

"Married." Dean's eyes widen.

"Married? How long-"

"Five months two weeks and three days."

Other Dean stared. "You get used to it." I tossed a random shirt at Dean, who caught it with ease.

"You love it."

"Of course I do." I watched as he gently picked Sammy up and put him in his bed; the three of us could not fit on our tiny bed, we had tried and Dean ended up getting kicked out by Sammy in the middle of the night.

"Wow. Married, and," He looked down at my stomach, I nodded. "A family." I smiled at him as I looked over to my husband, wondering when all of this was going to be explained. "I have some questions," Other Dean stared but Dean shook his head.

"Not tonight. I'm tired, my wife is tried,"

"Be nice to yourself babe." I said as I walked over to our small closet and pulled out our back up linens. "Couch isn't that comfortable, buts its better then the floor."

"Thanks." He said with the same smile I loved more then anything.

Remembering I was married to the present Dean, I handed other Dean his beddings and joined my husband over at our bed. I felt other Dean watching us closely as we got ready for bed, the both of us making sure the guns under our pillows were loaded and ready when needed. It was awkward having him watch us; we weren't use to an audience and even when we had one, it was never at times like this.

Dean and I talked before we went to sleep; it was a habit we had gotten in when he was trying to keep me from leaving his cabin at night. "What happened out there?"

"We were ambushed, then he was just there."

"Maybe it's a good sign."

"How? Its before Sam," I nodded, knowing what he wanted to say, but still couldn't. "He and Sam just split up,"

"Then maybe you can send him back, make sure the two of you stick together,"

Dean pulled me closer to him, kissing my neck. "You know what that means don't you?" I nodded; I didn't want to start crying, but I knew there was no avoiding it; pregnancy hormones.

If Dean and Sam never split up, then that means Sam never says yes to Lucifer, meaning we would never meet. My heart hurt just thinking about it; as much as I wanted my old life back, I wouldn't trade Dean and our family for it, ever. "We cant be selfish."

"Bull, I am the most unselfish person, its time for me to be selfish." I said nothing as I laid my head on his chest, and fell asleep to the sound of his heart beating.

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><p><strong>Review And It'll Make Me Want Write More.<strong>

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